This song was written by Rob Thomas for his wife who was diagnosed with an auto immune disease. It’s actually called “Her Diamonds” but for the purpose of this post, I refered to it as My Diamonds. When I first heard it on the radio I instantly was moved by it, I love [...]
When I knew I was going to “physically” lose my babies I had no idea what I was going to do with them. I really didn’t. Infact, I thought that I had already passed the babies and then it all became very obvious that I hadn’t.
With one baby in the toilet and another baby and the [...]
Or is it?
My holidays have been okay so far. My little girl A opened her twin baby dolls that R bought for her. I watched her Christmas morning playing with the twins and I pretty much kept my distance. But then I decided to help her wear her twins, I grabbed a kid sized wrap [...]
In one of my recent posts I was pondering the idea of moving on and not obsessing over being pregnant “RIGHT NOW”. I’m finding this quite difficult. Even this morning while showering I thought to myself, “maybe I’m ovulating now, it’s about that time”. So while I say that I should maybe just move on, [...]
How do you fake it? How do you fake being “over the moon” ecstatic for someone who just found out they’re expecting? Really. Or do you just retreat and don’t even bother faking it?
Here’s my dilemma, sometimes I am truly excited for them and then sometimes, I’m just not. It’s the oddest feeling, so bittersweet. [...]
Limbo: an unknown intermediate place or condition between two extremes, in limbo
I think I’m at a point where I need to decide what to do. I feel like I’m looking at a fork in the road and I’m just standing here looking, making no real decisions. I feel like I’ve been here for a while, in a [...]
Another BFN (Big Fat Negative). And another friend pregnant. Actually, a couple friends are expecting. Why does everyone seem to be getting pregnant right now? Why is that when I am pregnant generally there is no one to share it with, and then when I lose babies everyone get’s pregnant?
Blah…. that pretty much sums up my [...]
I’m reading “Motherhood Lost: a feminist account of pregnancy loss in America” by Linda Layne. She is the woman who did a session at the 2008 DONA conference on supporting a woman through pregnancy and baby loss. I’m really getting a lot out of this book even though I’m only on page 59. I’ll probably post more [...]
R came home the other night after Christmas shopping for the kids. He loves Christmas shopping. I emptied the bags and see he bought little A a baby doll…. wait a minute!! He bought her TWO baby dolls, TWINS! I couldn’t believe it. I asked him, “why on earth did you buy her twins?!”, and [...]
When I found out we lost the babies I shared the news with many people who knew we were expecting. One of those people is a web designer friend of mine. Long story short, she shared some information with me about a mama who lost a baby. I happen to know this mama. Not in [...]
