Happy Holidays!!
Or is it?
My holidays have been okay so far. My little girl A opened her twin baby dolls that R bought for her. I watched her Christmas morning playing with the twins and I pretty much kept my distance. But then I decided to help her wear her twins, I grabbed a kid sized wrap and voila, my little A was wearing twins! Maybe I will never wear my twins but she’ll wear her twin dolls. Bittersweet.
I wanted to do something to honor the twins this Christmas but couldn’t think of anything. I was looking for an ornament to buy but I could not find anything for twins. I found a couple ornaments that said something like, “In our hearts forever” but they seem to represent single losses and that obviously does not fit my situation.
We went to the ski hill on boxing day and enjoyed some family time for a couple days. There was a new baby there and of course rumors circulating about so and so and what’s her name expecting, blah blah blah. We had a chat with R’s Aunt and she filled us in on her sister in laws “situation”. Apparently she’s just “devastated”… Why? Oh, because she’s expecting. She’s due in February. This is her 4th baby with her husband and she’s devastated. Hmm. Well, I’m devastated too. Funny though, we’re devastated for exactly the opposite reason: She’s devastated that she’s pregnant and I’m devastated that I’m not. Interesting.
R bought me a kickboxing membership for Christmas. So now with our tattoo plans and a gym membership I guess there’s no point in getting pregnant now is there?.
All in all, the holidays have been decent. Of course I’ve been sad but I’m beginning to think that it’s just an emotion that I will have to live with.
Happy Holidays everyone.
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